It's Been FIVE Years

Five years ago last Sunday my life underwent a massive upheaval!

The STROKE I had changed the parameters of my life - what I was able to do, how I thought about myself, and much more. I was also at that time uninsurable! No one would issue any kind of policy on me.

Rejoice with me that FIVE years have passed, I am now eligible for insurance, and my life is better than it ever has been!

Okay, it isn't perfect, but I don't expect or even want perfection. I'm wiser than I was - I understand the limits of my patience and know better what drives me over the edge into unbearable stress.

The paradox of time is that it hardly seems like five years, and yet it also seems a lifetime ago.

A Song in My Throat

Singing - such joy!

My mother was a 13 year old, singing live on the radio in Burlington, Vermont. Wish I had seen and heard that!

Thanks to her, I grew up listening to favorites, such as "How Deep Is the Ocean?" and graduated to show tunes before I hit double digits. I idolized Julie Andrews.

Next I embraced the Kingston Trio - "Hang Down Your Head, Tom Dooly". In college, I sang folk music - Eric Anderson, Peter, Paul and Mary, Judy Collins.

At some point I discovered the passionate native American, Buffy Ste. Marie. Hers was not always a beautiful voice, but one full of pain and struggle. I remember being deeply moved by a quote, which must have come from a record jacket, about life being about the wonderful feeling of having a song in your throat. I can feel that, too.

In the hospital, after the stroke, I sang whenever I had the chance, just to prove I still could.

Yesterday, I sang through "The Bell Song" for the first time in years. Wow, did it feel good! Well, except for the final sustained high E; still, though the E may be gone, the rest felt miraculous.

Nearly 5 years ago, I suffered a stroke that left me with numbness and lack of coordination of my right hand and arm. For awhile, I could not speak normally, and I couldn't say my husband's name. With time and occupational and massage therapy, sensation began to return. My speech cleared up within the month. I relearned how to brush my teeth and hair, how to butter toast, how to handle a fork. I used a speech program on the computer for several months, because my right hand could not type. I am very grateful for the lessons I learned from this experience. After 5 years, a person is considered to be at no increased risk of having another CVA (cerebrovascular accident). That's my upcoming milestone!